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Q: How can I own a pet dinosaur; I live in a small apartment?!

A: While size is definitely an important factor when choosing the right pet dinosaur for your household, we’ve been able to isolate the genes in certain species controlling growth and make the appropriate adjustments that allow us to limit the growth of mature adult dinosaurs to something more manageable for the modern homeowner. Please refer to our pet-matching comparison infographic to find out which dinosaur is right for you.

Q: Isn’t it irresponsible to breed a dangerous and extinct species of animals and sell them as pets?

A: We get this question a lot, but really we feel it would be irresponsible not to! Science isn’t about what we should do, it’s about what we can do. To refuse to breed dinosaurs simply because they’re dangerous would be to put a limitation on science and innovation. We strongly feel that science and innovation are the core of our economy and it would be unpatriotic to turn our backs on dinosaurs just because a few people might get eaten. Not only are well-trained dinosaurs wonderful companions, they’re also fierce defenders of home fronts and could maybe even join our military one day! You can get an alarm system if you want, but I know I can sleep at night with my raptors guarding my family.

Q: Why should I choose a dinosaur instead of another reptile such as a crocodile or a komodo dragon?

A: There’s certainly nothing wrong with crocs and dragons, but they’re far from exotic. We generally consider those species to be the poor man’s dinosaur. If you truly want to impress friends, colleagues and nemeses, a dinosaur is the way to go. Dinosaurs are just unassailably more exotic, thus making them a more impressive status symbol.

We like to think of crocs and dragons as more of a nouveau species, having only really existed for 50 and 4 million years respectively. Our dinosaurs have a far more impressive history, with existence dating back over 100 million years. If you have the means, we highly recommend investing in a dinosaur over cheap Johnny-come-lately imitators.

Q: Why can’t I buy a T. Rex?

A: There are strict federal regulations that prohibit the breeding & sale of larger carnivorous species, including T. Rex, as well as allosaurus, giganotosaurus, and acrocanthosaurus; really, any prehistoric apex predator that may cause excessive death & destruction and is not docile enough for training and socialization.

Q: Your pricing is very high; why?

A: Cliche as it sounds, you do tend to get what you pay for. Other dinosaur mills and corner pet stores may have lower prices, but they also provide lower quality and little to no documentation of the animal’s lineage. Furthermore, we provided on-site obedience training as part of the purchase price.

Q: How do I know you yourself aren’t just some fly-by-night mill that profits from the suffering of dinosaurs you sell?

A: An excellent question. But Enid and I began precisely to combat the proliferation of those very sorts of ne’er do wells and provide aspiring dinosaur owners with a trustworthy and caring alternative to the corner pet store and backyard dino mill. But don’t take our word for it; read the testimonials of satisfied customers.

Q: Alright, I’m sold. How do I buy a baby dinosaur from you?

A: Just complete our short application and bring it along with you when you come visit the hatchery to begin the selection and matching process!